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Family Stories
Breaking the Cycle, Together
Ben, Peter, and Grace
Adult son & identified patient, 35, mother & father, 50s
Background
Ben, 35, had once been a rising star: professionally successful, independent, and seemingly put together. But beneath that image was a long struggle with alcohol, cocaine, and weed addiction, marked by repeated treatment attempts and growing isolation. Recently divorced and socially withdrawn, Ben descended into a week-long binge before a friend found him unresponsive in his apartment. Loving but overwhelmed, his parents didn’t know how to help him.
Assessment
After an intense detox experience, it was determined that Ben would benefit from a longer stay in a treatment center for addiction. Through conversations, HOME learned that Peter & Grace had spent years minimizing the severity of his substance abuse, often using alcohol themselves to relax, celebrate, or connect.
Interventions
- HOME guided the parents to examine and speak with three carefully vetted treatment options for Ben. HOME stayed involved, providing support as the parents explored and spoke with each treatment option, helping the parents to sort through the decision-making process and collaborating hand-in-hand with the treatment centers to help the parents choose the best partner for long-term healing.
- An interventionist from HOME joined the process to help the family have a meaningful, structured conversation with Ben while the parents agreed to start their healing journey. Through a two-day intervention process, in which Ben moved from anger to resistance to acceptance, HOME was involved to provide a steady hand and to help the parents stay the course while being a source of encouragement and safety for Ben.
Breakthroughs & Challenges
When Ben was discharged from detox, he expected the usual cycle: apologies offered, promises made, denial enhanced, and addiction allowed. But this time, with support, his parents showed up differently. Over two days, they had a courageous, honest conversation and, after much deflection and refusal, Ben said yes to long-term treatment while his parents agreed to participate in their own therapeutic healing.
Through HOME’s therapeutic coaching process, Peter and Grace unpacked their relationship to alcohol and how their emotional patterns promoted secrecy and denial. They learned how past avoidance had kept the family stuck. They began to have a new perspective that included taking accountability for the mistakes they had made as parents and ways in which their childhood wounding left them avoidant of the harder, necessary conversations the family needed to move forward and collectively heal.
Outcomes and Reflections
Ben completed treatment after 90 days and entered a structured aftercare plan. His relationship with his parents is no longer defined by guilt or silence, but mutual accountability and a two-way process of grace and empathy. Peter & Grace now engage in ongoing thera-coaching and are building a more honest and authentic connection with their son and with each other. They attend a parent therapeutic group, which they find validating and helpful; it is psychoeducational and has provided them with a brand-new outlook and perspective. When Ben relapsed after being home from treatment at the 6-month mark, he was able to come to his parents, honestly and with self-compassion. They responded with support and understanding while also expressing their fears. Together, as a family engaged in a healing process, they moved through the relapse with deepened trust and an emphasis on relational repair. They also understood that Ben was struggling with all the emotions that were surfacing in sobriety: emotions that had been numbed and ignored for years, through substance use. Therefore, they were able to provide him with even more therapeutic support and scaffolding, which included a therapeutically savvy coach from the HOME team to spend time daily with him. Realizing that it takes a village to help kickstart and sustain a sense of wellbeing and connection, Ben and his parents are finding ways to flourish even when life becomes messy.