Home
Cultivate Beauty
The other evening, during a sunset sail, I sat surrounded by people who amplify my joy. The perfect playlist held us like a cradle, lulling us with music and filling our hearts. All surrounding us was nature’s handiwork—silky-smooth water, brilliant pinks and purples in the sky, egrets nesting. It was one of those experiences that brought our attention to the beauty found in just allowing: the relationships knitted together, the food generously provided, the sails filled with just the perfect amount of wind.
Everything about the evening was gentle, easy. Beauty as zen. A quiet welcoming. We did not have to do anything but show up to cultivate an awareness of all that was beautiful around and in us.
Cultivating Beauty—in our relationships, in our lives, in our work—lies in the art and interplay of paying attention and conscious engagement.
Beauty lies in the ability to notice the small things that are alchemical because they transform us: the way a loved one holds their coffee cup, a beautifully set table, being truly heard, a soft blanket tucked in just the right way, a gentle hand on our back, the way the light falls through the cloud, the bee on the hydrangea, her laugh, his smile.
Beauty lies in all the things that require presence, not just the easy, but also the hard. Beauty is found when we lean into our grief and do not rush ourselves out of it. Beauty is found when we sit quietly with another human, allowing them to share their anxiety, tears, and anger. Beauty is giving ourselves the compassion that we have withheld to endure, prove, or hustle for acceptance.
Beauty is a quiet nestling into all we have numbed, so we can allow ourselves to finally know. Beauty is also a remembering or mere recognition of the miracle and mystery that abides—an infinite, ever-present resource, always available to those who can see.
Beauty means we can stop managing the weather in each room we enter, and, instead, tend to it within us. Beauty is found in nature precisely because we need a real-live encounter with things outside of us to allow the things inside of us: the storms, the light, the eruptions, the loss, the births, the greening.
Beauty is found by:
- Allowing
- Noticing
- Holding
- Inviting
- Attuning
Beauty creates an awareness of all that is around us. Every. Moment. Every. Day. And in the relational sphere, that means we give ourselves the gift of learning about ourselves so we can bring an allowing, noticing, holding, inviting, and attuning to others.
The opposite of creating beauty is found in all the times we hear or have heard:
- Don’t be angry.
- Doing “that” (whatever that is) is bad
- You are so needy…too much…oversensitive
- Pull yourself together
- When you say “no,” you are being mean
Instead, Cultivating Beauty in our relationships sounds like:
- I hear how angry you are—I feel disconnected in the face of your anger and somewhat scared—and I want to know more, so let’s please explore this together.
- I feel sad that your behavior is creating such pain for you. I am here to talk it through.
- All of your feelings are worth paying attention to.
- Let’s hit the pause button and come back in about an hour after we have both regulated.
- I am glad you know what works for you, even though I feel a bit disappointed.
As John O’ Donohue said, “Beauty is not just a word; it’s a presence.” Cultivating Beauty means welcoming a soulful presence as we :
- Connect with our one wild, true self: dance, journal, sing, pursue joy
- Eat nourishing food and allow ourselves the luxury of sensual comforts
- Use the good china, the lovely oils, the exquisite candles, the fabulous sheets
- Buy yourself the treat, flowers, good coffee—absorb these pleasures mindfully
- Say no because you matter, and “no” is a deeply holy word
- Say yes because you matter, and “yes”—aligned to your sacred wholeness—is magic
- Come together with those you love who are also on the journey of awakening
- Create space that is a haven, a sanctuary, an artful expression of your essence
Make your life beautiful.
And as you sit in solitude and as you welcome those who honor your wants and desires, know that by Cultivating Beauty, you are saving the world. Your beauty and your beautiful life feed and inspire those around you. Human beings need beauty, and the more we cultivate, the more we set it in motion, beyond us.